WOODY AND THE WOODIES...

HURTIN' UNITS VS. THE HOTTUB WOODYS.

" Who does number 2 work for ? "- Austin Powers.

Game #12- June 27, 2013

Hurtin' Units win 7-6

Team Record 6-6-0

Keogh Park- It just amazes me the amount of parity in the league this season. Almost every team we have played this season seems to be stacked. I will sometimes look at the team we are playing, hoping to find some strategic advantage when actually facing these players on the field. It seldom works in my favour.

What usually happens is the guys I look to be aggressive with, end up not even in the lineup or have their best game of the season. So I'm forced to wing it anyway. Now, I just look at our opponents roster, think about getting ahead in the count and adjust to the games as they go along. 

This game was the mid-way point of the 2013 season. 12 games already in the books and the Units sit with a record of 6-6-0. This is the first time since 2010 that the Units have had a .500 record or better. In 2011, at the mid-way point, the Units sat at 5-7-0 and in 2012 our record was 4-7-1. A .500 record is decent and if we could have won even 1 or 2 of our one run losses we could be sitting in the top 5 in the standings. As of this date, we sit in 7th place. 

Woody and the Woodys.




Real Woody? Or impostor Woody? Only his hair

dresser knows for sure.

  Let me start by saying that I watch a lot of spy/ secret agent movies (i.e. Austin Powers, Spy Kids) and I think I have enough experience, from watching these movies, to realize when something isn't the way it should be.

There was something strange going on in this game against the Hottub Woodys. I want everyone to know that I don't believe that there is a conspiracy going on here, but there was something different going on in the 5th spot in the batting/position lineup. I want to cautiously get my thought across without putting our team in to any unnecessary danger. And don't think me crazy until you hear me out.

I believe the Dan C. (Woody) in this game was an impostor...Again, before you think me crazy, hear me out.

To start with, the guy, let's call him Woody 2.0 was 3 inches shorter, he had a tattoo of  Mikhail Gorbachev on his arm, he threw with his left hand and every time I asked him a question, he answered with single syllable words.

I know answering in single syllable words in not unusual for Woody, but all he answered with was yes, yes, yes in a thick Russian accent. Every question I asked was the same answer, it was like he didn't understand what I was asking... Did you get your boat motor fixed Woody? Yes, yes, yes. Is your Hurtin' Unit shirt in the wash Woody? Yes, yes, yes. Are you wearing women's underwear Woody? Yes, yes, yes. Every answer was the same. Weird stuff, even for Dan.



No. 2- Who does he work for?

 I also think that the impostor thought he could slip through by wearing a dark shirt with the name BANSHEES on the front with a bedazzled name Woody. I guess in English all the words look the same to those fuzzy little foreigners.

We had played most of the game before I got suspicious of the Woody impostor. I should have suspected something earlier in the evening (before the start of the game) when I saw Woody staring at the lineup/batting order, scratching his head like a monkey, trying to figure out who he was. I use Dan C. on the lineup sheet, not Woody. The Woody impostor was the last to head out on the field in the first inning, he was waiting until everyone was in position and headed to the empty position. Very clever of you, whoever you are.




Sean Connery- I'll take the rapists for $200 Alex.
That's therapists you idiot...

  All these things added up to an impostor playing amongst us, but it was his batting that really brought the idea home with me. Woody 2.0 only hit 2 balls down the right field side and only one in to the Keogh's back yard. Dan is always good for 5 balls leaving the park. The other balls he hit were on the playing field and one was hit straight away center field, Dan never does this. You're nabbed fake Dan...you should have done your homework Woody 2.0. 

After the game, I was crossing the street and I saw a black Chevrolet Avalanche, I approached to ask Woody if he was coming in the Legion for a beer, the vehicle sped up and headed toward me, I dove out of the way and almost landed on a skunk in the bushes where I landed...The truck didn't stop. 

I have to wonder why this kind of thing would happen. Was the real Woody kidnapped, tied up, taken away and held for ransom? Or was the real Woody behind this all along, perhaps so he could look like a team player while heading out to the ballet, hot yoga or night out with the girls. We certainly will not report this to the league, we may lose our win and let's face it, Woody 2.0 wasn't all that bad, maybe even a little better.  

The weather for this game against the Woodys was still quite warm, not as bad as Monday, but it was still in the twenties and some humidity was still hanging around.

We were missing a lot of players for this game. We had to call for 3 subs. Missing from the game were Brian, Ricky Bobby, Ricky L., Richard, Mike and possibly Dan (Woody)C. (still not sure on this one). The 3 subs we picked up were Kevin (Radar) B., Craig (Dude)Escott and Tito (?????) P. 

This was a tight defensive game by both teams and going in to the 7th inning, the Units had a 4 run lead. The Woodys would score 3 runs in the top of the 7th, but the Units would hold on and take the win. Units win 7-6 for the first 2 game winning streak of the season.